diary of a mad female

it's a mad, mad, mad, mad ,mad world

2005-07-22T01:39:00.000-07:00

I admit I have never seen all of the movie, but the title seems oh so fitting for the way life has been going.

I am in the middle of midterms. (as if)
My sister is in crisis mode full blast (which I won't detail- because in as much as I don't think I actually have readers - this is the Internet)
and I have the usual life stressors going on.

It's just a freaky time in the household. Massive time suckage going on.

So now it is Friday night, Mr Toughguy and the son are off to go on a full moon canoe trip so I am going to settle down with some studying and this piece of blueberry sugar free cheesecake I've got. (sheessh I am boring) I do need a bit of boredom at this moment in my life. Trust me.

I'd love to go to breakfast tomorrow morning too, but I am thinking it isn't going to happen. Not something I want to do alone, yet can't think of someone I'd call this late to go. Mr. Toughguy and the son will probably sleep in late. So, I should have the morning to myself as well. What I am looking for the most right now is peace. Stillness and peace. Maybe I'll go alone and read the paper. There is an interesting thought.

Whew! What a week!

2005-07-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

I am glad to say this week has passed. Although I got a lot done in a positive way, it certainly was a pain in the posterior to say the least.

The 24 hour EEG was good in the aspect that it will provide some much needed information to the Doc. It was certainly a pain having 24 electrodes glued to my head. The process, however, was interesting. After gluing the electrodes, the wires were all wrapped up into a cable that was about the size of your thumb. This cable led to a device, that was essentially a mother board and a compact flash card and some other components that recorded all of my brain waves. They also hooked up an EKG lead. The Hard drive (for lack of a better term) was bagged in a purse like thing and hung around my waist for the next 24 hours. (It did somehow manage to gain weight over the 24 hours, so I am positive it was female) I didn't sleep very well. I am glad it is over. When I went to have it removed, they informed me that they used airplane model glue to put the electrodes in. I am still getting that out. (BUT my hair IS very conditioned)

It looks like Mr. Toughguy and I are taking the son to go and see the Fantastic 4 today, the son does not know it yet, if he he did, every second between here and there would be, "Is it time to go yet?" Better just not to tell him until we get there.

We got hacked/cracked at work this week. I spent the better part of this week building a better firewall. I put in a LINUX box and check this site out www.fs-security.com pretty cool stuff to go on a Linux box to help you configure it as a firewall. I had it up and running quickly. I am looking for a decent antivirus, anti malmare, and then dansguardian to top it off. That proves to be a lot of work though. Monday Night I have a volunteer to come in and give me a hand so life should be more secure then.

The Flag Waiver Inside . . . .

2005-07-05T03:43:00.000-07:00

Just got back from the fireworks. It was all and all a good time. The son didn't really want to listen and has lost his video games and cartoons for tomorrow. At one point three of us had out car stereos on and tuned to a radio station synched to the fireworks playing patriotic music. It used to be nearly every station in town did this, now, I had to look for one. AND I only found one.

I was shocked for my need to have this music on the Fourth during the fireworks. I suppose there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it is probably a throw back to a way it is supposed to be. Because my dad was a vet? I don't know. I just know the fireworks were not the same until I found that kind of music and had it with my fireworks. There are cynics that would say that I am brainwashed by the Industry to think that I need to have that. I won't accept that.

The finale and the final song was "God Bless The USA" Lee Greenwood. That song is an emotional gimme. It is going to tug on the heart strings and the radio station programmers know that. It is a special song to me because I was working at a radio station after 9/11 and I took requests from people. I will never forget the emotion and the stories as people requested that song and others like it. After the finale, they played the National Anthem. Several people stood in their spots, hands over their hearts, looking at the smoke filled sky where the fireworks were so massive only moments before. These people were standing there singing the National Anthem. They knew that it probably meant another ten minutes in traffic, but it didn't matter. Tonight that marked another moment in time that I will not soon forget. Red state, blue state, doesn't matter. That was flat out a cool moment.

Electrodes on my head

2005-07-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

Yep... that is right. Electrodes on my head. 24 hours worth of electrodes on my head. After (literally) months of the machine being broken I get a call today and it is fixed. So, the test is scheduled for (insert pure shock) tomorrow! I go in at 10:30 and get them on my head and go in at 11:30 Thursday to get them off my head. In the meantime: NO cell phone, NO cordless phone, NO wireless internet, NO hat, NO shower, NO bath, and oh by-the-way log everything you do whilst you are avoiding everyone you know and not being on the internet.

Seriously though, I don't mean to knock it. After years of no diagnosis, it'll be nice to have a true direction of how to make it better. Although, while we were waiting for the machine to be fixed, the doc played with my meds and seems to have them in a good place. The noggin is feelin good. But without a diagnosis is kind of a rock and a hard place.

What really sucks is I can't ride my scooter with the darn things on my head.

It does make my holiday weekend longer though. I called my boss, given the nature of my job, he thinks it is just better to come in once the electrodes are off the head. I work around too much wireless and electronic equipment. I guess he has a point.

Tonight, school. I have some serious on-line work to catch up on as well. Hopefully today I can get the online stuff accomplished before I go in for my on campus class. (or most of it) My on campus class that meets tonight has a HUGE project required that we are to be working on during the entire quarter. Unfortunately, it isn't one of those projects that you can just throw together at the last minute and get away with an A or B, this is the kind that you really have to work on. Luckily, the instructor is giving us time to work on it after the assigned labs, IF you are smart enough to take advantage of it. Lacking copious amounts of free time, I take advantage of it.

the Friday happy dance . . . . .

2005-07-01T03:44:00.000-07:00

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, it's that time of the week again, time for the Friday Happy Dance! AND for those of us lucky enough to not be in public service or have a rotating holiday off, a long weekend no less! YIPPEE.

Lots-o-stuff on tap for the weekend, of course life has reared its ugly little head to change our plans a little, but things are on course with a few minor adjustments.

Tonight, Mr. Toughguy works late. After that I am thinking it is a movie and some dinner. Pizza? (At home of course. I realize with the son gone this would be the perfect opportunity to go outside of the house and spend some time together, but I think we are saving the going out pennies for the anniversary later this month)

I have three flix on tap from blockbuster online. The Aviator, The Seventh Sign, and some unheard of cheese fest I forget the name of. I don't know which one Mr. TG will want to watch, but if I were a betting woman, I'd place the bets on the Seventh Sign. It caters to his fascination with the end of the world. I did explain to him that this movie does not exactly follow THE BOOK, but is an entertaining dramatic muse. I have seen it in full probably 3 or 4 times. It "stars" Demi Moore before not only Ashton, but before Bruce. I think the stars that are in it were all no names when it was made. The local Blockbuster didn't even carry it. I had to order it online which is really no biggie, just interesting to note.

On to cheesefests, the sci-fi channel (of course) has one running all weekend. Makes me want to stay inside and keep my skin the mandatory geek lilly white. Those awful cheesy mutated monsters that get defeated (unless there is a chance for the sequel) by the band of rag tag throw aways that generally couldn't even get along in the beginning are certainly my guilty pleasure. Why hide it? I could have worse guilty pleasures right?

Another all day marathon is the 4400 on USA this weekend. But alas, there is no rain in the forecast, so I plan on being outdoors, with plenty of SPF 5000 on my lilly white skin.

I am off to find a nice old fashioned mac and cheese recipe, since I am craving it like a banshee. (don't know if banshees actually crave mac and cheese, but sounded fun) - Must be the holiday